About Us

I am from Iran, originally from the province of Sistan and Baluchistan, but my family lives in an eastern city of Iran. I moved to Germany in September 2024, and I came directly from Iran to Germany with a connection in Istanbul airport. I came for my studies. 

I didn’t originally plan to come to Germany. I wanted to go to Ireland, the UK, or Australia because of the English language. But my IELTS was about to expire, and because of the political situation in Iran everything became worse. I decided to leave the country earlier than planned. Two of my best friends were living in Germany and suggested I move here, so I chose this country because I trusted them and because I liked the study program.

My first day in Germany was very difficult. When I arrived on the 28th of September, my friend and her boyfriend picked me up from the airport. But as soon as I got here, I felt strange and uncomfortable. I cried in the car, and I immediately wanted to return to Iran. I called my mother and told her I wanted to come back. She told me to stay one month, relax, explore the area, and only then decide. My friend tried to show me the landscape and told me how green and beautiful it was, but in that moment I didn’t care about anything.

With time, a lot changed, both in good and bad ways. I have had my worst days here, but also some very good ones. This has been like a one-year and three-month adventure for me, full of changes. When I returned to Iran recently to visit my family, everyone told me that I had become a completely different person. I also noticed it myself: I became more serious, quieter, calmer. In Iran I used to be very outgoing and full of energy, but in Germany I live alone in a single apartment, so I’ve become more sensitive to noise and different behaviors.

Another change is related to religion. In Iran, because of the political situation, I couldn’t say openly that I didn’t care about religion or that I wasn’t Muslim, because it could lead to arrest or serious problems. Here, when I say it, no one cares. And something I love about Germany is the way women are protected. Once, at a party, a drunk man tried to get close to me. I told him not to, and when he asked what I would do, I said I would report him to Human Resources. I felt safe because here harassment is taken seriously, especially towards women.

Of course, the situation in Iran also influenced my decision to leave. Economically, it was very difficult. I was a teacher for international students, but I was paid only one euro per hour. I also studied art history, which makes finding a job even more difficult in Iran. But the most personal reason goes back to my childhood. I lived in an Asian country for five years when my father was studying there. When we returned to Iran, I struggled a lot. Many of my relatives were very religious, and my lifestyle and opinions were completely opposite. My parents were open-minded, but the community around me was not. Already as a teenager, I wanted to immigrate again. In 2014, during my first semester of university, I even went to an immigration consultation office, but I only managed to leave in 2024.

I don’t plan to stay in Germany permanently. When I came, many people told me that I would be able to find a job in Germany with my English skills. But when I arrived and started applying, I realized it was not true. I have applied for more than 700 positions, even in museums, where I have experience. I interviewed at museums, including the university’s, and they told me I was overqualified but that my German skills were not enough. It feels unfair. I even told the international office that the university accepted me into an English program, but I cannot find a job with English. It makes no sense.

I am learning German and I reached A2 level, but I don’t want to continue. My program is entirely in English, and I have to read many academic texts. I don’t have the time to learn the language fluently. So I am planning to move to another country for my internship, my PhD, or a future job. I love Ireland—especially Dublin—and I would love to work at the Chester Beatty Museum Library, which has many Persian manuscripts. I am also thinking about the US, but because of the travel ban it’s difficult. Still, it’s temporary and maybe someday I can go.

A very personal part of my story is my mental health. When I arrived in Germany, I faced a very heavy depression. I came close to suicide twice. One time, at the exact moment I decided to do it, a friend called me. I suddenly started crying. After that, I went to a doctor and a psychotherapist. At first, they wanted to hospitalize me for two weeks, but I refused. I promised to take my medication regularly, and I have been visiting a therapist regularly since March. I have slowly moved out of the darkest period.

Depression felt like everything turning grey. Once, I went to Aldi and when I came out, I saw everything without color, even though it was spring. Migration is a huge step, and everyone experiences it differently. Some people adapt easily; others, like me, struggle a lot. But time helps. I still have difficult moments, and sometimes suicidal thoughts are still an option in my mind, but I don’t want to try again. I remind myself that everyone struggles, no matter what we see on social media.

I am not a perfect person, but I am proud of myself. I did everything completely on my own. When my parents migrated or traveled, they did it together, with support from each other. But I did this alone, and I am proud of that. One day, when I am older, maybe 37 or 40, I want to become a manager or director of an institution that helps people with mental health issues with migration background, because I have experienced these problems myself and I want to support others so they don’t take dangerous steps.